


When everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am

by plikki



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Half a kwami swap?, Identity Reveal, Ladybug Adrien Agreste | Mister Bug, but it ends well, it gets a bit angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:08:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26064004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plikki/pseuds/plikki
Summary: Things get really bad and Adrien can only try to protect Marinette from the butterfly they both expect to come. As they wait, they untangle the complicated secrets in their lives in search of a better future.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Comments: 22
Kudos: 195





	When everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am

**Author's Note:**

  * For [InkyCoffee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/InkyCoffee/gifts).



> You can tell someone knows me (i.e my weaknesses) when all they have to do is say 'Mister Bug' and wait for me to take the bait 😁 I'm just kidding (or am I?)   
> Well, Lou, you were right to worry that this might be a bit too angsty. I didn't expect it, to be honest, it just happened like that. But I hope you like what I did with your idea. It took some time because I had other things to write and maybe I just needed to be in the right frame of mind first. 
> 
> (Title is from Goo Goo Dolls - Iris)

Adrien was walking aimlessly down the street for probably the first time in his life. Having his father and Nathalie out of town felt so liberating, it was as if a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He could do whatever he wanted for a whole day. And since he’d never had so much free time on his hands, he had no idea what to do. He had no way of knowing that it would be decided for him.

“Adrien,” he heard a tiny, familiar voice call him. He looked around furtively to find two big blue eyes looking at him, full of despair. He cupped the little kwami in his hands and looked around for a place to hide. Someone was walking through a doorway and he stuck his foot in there without thinking. Waiting for the person to continue up the stairs, he sneaked in after looking around. He felt like a criminal.

“Tikki, what is going on?” he whispered frantically. His heart was already pounding but it nearly stopped when he saw that the little kwami was holding a pair of earrings in her small hands. He felt dizzy and had to use a hand to prop himself on the wall. 

“ She took them out. She took them out and gave them to me and told me to find you because she says she's not strong enough today to fight off a butterfly. She said you might need these. I didn't know what to do." 

It took him a moment to understand the kwami’s frantic words. A look into her tearful eyes told him this was not a joke. Plagg shot out of his shirt and joined Tikki, shooting a worried glance in Adrien’s direction.

“What should I do?” He asked. The thought of his lady alone somewhere, sad and overwhelmed by something so strong that she’d give up, was too much. 

“Transform and go to her,” Plagg said as if it was obvious. 

“But then I’ll know who she is.” He looked between them, hoping for guidance. He was completely out of his element here. This was not his decision to take.

“It’s high time you knew anyway,” Tikki said, sniffing. He could feel his mouth fall open, he was so surprised to hear that. “I know, I know. We insisted so much on secrecy. But what good had it done her? Obviously keeping it from you didn’t help. It’s time to change tactics.”

“Are you sure?” 

“She didn’t give us much choice, did she? If you’re to transform and protect her from Hawk Moth, you should know who she is. There is no way around that.”

“Where should I go?” 

“To the park next to your school.”   
“How will I know it’s her?” He asked, while putting on the earrings. 

“Trust me, you will,” Tikki said without explaining further. He paused before transforming, eyeing his ring. He took it off and gave it to Plagg. 

“I’ll be nearby,” the kwami told him. This somehow made him feel better. Then he closed his eyes and uttered the words he hadn’t expected he’d get to use again.

He was on his way before he could think more about it. It was pure luck that saved him from running into a wall or getting tangled in the yo-yo, he felt so out of it. Thankfully, he didn’t have to go far. 

He dropped behind a tree in the park and scanned the area. A couple by the gate, two kids running around, a lone girl on a bench, with her back to him. His heart thundering in his chest, he focused on her. She had her face on her knees, her arms wrapped around her legs and she was rocking slightly on the spot. A sob reached his ears. It felt like a punch to his stomach. 

Just then she looked up and used one hand to wipe something from her face, probably tears. She turned to the side to wipe the other cheek and it was enough. 

Marinette. He didn’t give himself time to think about it once he was sure. He ran to her, scooped her up in his arms and headed to her house. Her arms instinctively wound around his neck and he heard a strangled “Chat” from where her face was buried. 

They were on her balcony within a few seconds. He didn’t let go of her, just sat down on the floor, still holding her in his arms. 

“It’s ok, m’lady, I’m here,” he whispered in her ear as he tried to arrange them in a more comfortable position. In the end, he backed up against the railing and let her sit between his legs. Her head was still on his shoulder as he ran a hand up and down her back in what he hoped was a soothing manner. 

“I’m sorry,” she whispered between sobs. 

“Let it all out, you don’t have to worry about a thing, I’m here to protect you.” He didn’t know how long they stood there. Him trying to stay vigilant while still whispering comforting words to her every now and then. 

Eventually, the sobs subsided. She looked up at him with bloodshot eyes and promptly sneezed. He bit back a smile as she rummaged in her purse for a hanky. 

“Excuse me, but I’m gross,” she said as she turned around to blow her nose. It was still adorable to him.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked when she was done. She sighed but didn’t try to get up and away from him. Instead, she rested her head on his shoulder again. He was more than happy to hold her and let her decide when to speak.

“I’m just so tired,” she started. “I can’t keep this one-girl quest to prove all Lila does is lie. She has everyone else under her spell and they all think I hold a grudge or something. They don’t think I see her for who she really is.” Ah. so this was what had brought this on. He could only imagine how she felt. He’d meant to talk to Marinette for some time, to let her know she wasn’t alone, because he could imagine it felt like that.

“I get it that as Ladybug you know a lot more about her lies. But are you sure no one else believes you?” He asked

“Well, Adrien has always looked like he’s on my side. I thought he knows what kind of a person she is, but now then they look so chummy.”

He tried not to shudder at the thought. They were most definitely not chummy. 

“I think you know better than to believe everything you see. Maybe there is a reason he has to act this way.” Part of this was him following his father’s wishes, although he had to admit he couldn’t understand his fascination with Lila and the insistence of keeping her close to Adrien. Another thing was that this way he could protect Marinette if he had to. There was some truth in the saying that you should keep your enemies closer. 

“It’s just exhausting. I don’t know what to think anymore. At least she doesn’t stand a chance with him.” Now he really felt sick. She most definitely didn’t. “If I have to give up on him, it’s much better for it to be because of someone great like Kagami and not a lying witch.”

Adrien blinked, sure he’d misheard her. She couldn’t mean what he thought she meant, could she?

“Why would you need to give up on him?” He asked tentatively.

“Oh because they’re together of course.” No, they weren’t. “It would be stupid to remain hung up on him.” Remain hung up on him? How could this be true if this was the first time he heard of this?

“Are you sure you got this right?” He asked.

“I wish I was wrong, but you should see them together.” He knew what they were like together, but he also knew how he felt. Kagami was awesome but she didn’t stand a chance as long as his heart was taken. And it was 100% devoted to the girl in his arms. Who obviously loved him back but didn’t know it was him, he thought as he looked into her sad eyes. 

“So is this about Lila or about Adrien being with another girl, supposedly?” 

“A bit of both, I guess. Lila takes the top spot today because I got into a fight with Alya because of her. But the other is a factor too, as pitiful as it may sound.” It didn’t. He understood.

“I get that it’s bad. But you’ll deal with this. You’re the strongest and bravest person I know, you can do this. And you’re not alone, you have me.” To say he was surprised to see her burst into tears again would be an understatement. He’d tried to encourage her and comfort her not make her cry again. “Hey, hey, it’s ok! Being brave doesn’t mean you’re not afraid of anything you know, it’s just being able to overcome your fear and still do what needs to be done. And strength doesn’t mean you can’t feel helpless or cry and most importantly ask for help. You did the right thing. It’s a sign of great strength to seek help when you feel down. You’re not supposed to deal with this on your own.” There was an edge to his voice that surprised him too.

“What is wrong?” Marinette asked through tears.

“I know it’s not right but I sometimes feel so mad at Master Fu. I know he didn’t really have a choice, but to saddle you with all this responsibility when you already had enough on your shoulders? Why couldn’t he have a back-up or something. Someone else to take over from him. You already have enough to deal with. And there is nothing I can do. I just stand there, useless, most of the time.”

He was surprised by the sharp look she gave him, the tears forgotten once again.

“I really hope you don’t mean this. You’re the only person I want here with me now. You’re the only one who can help me in any way. You’re the only thing keeping me together right now, do you realise that? You’re not useless!” Her voice had been rising without her realising it, but it broke at the end. She looked like she was holding back tears again.

“Alright, I’m not useless then, forget I said that. But I wish there was more I could do.”

“You’re here.” She said simply.

“Of course, where else would I be? I’d never let anything bad happen to you.” He snorted. “Although it is already happening. It may not be Hawk Moth, but it’s torturing you, making you feel hopeless. And I’m not exactly stopping it.”

“You can’t protect me from everything, kitty,” she said with a sad smile.

“I wish I could.” He saw her eyes fill with tears again and she turned away. “What is it this time? Tell me!”

“I just wish things didn’t have to be this way. You have your own problems, I’m sure. And you’ve moved on and I should be happy, because that’s what I’ve wanted for so long, because you deserve to be happy. And yet, it hurts.” She’d lost him. He had no idea what she was talking about.

“What hurts?”

“Knowing that you don’t love me anymore,” she said through tears. He stiffened.

“What gave you this idea?”

“You’ve been acting more distant lately and..”

“But I thought this was what you wanted!”

“I know! But knowing that it’s the right thing and still wishing it could be different are not mutually exclusive obviously. Why does us being together have to cause the end of the world?” 

“Me giving you space does not mean I don’t love you, I…” He froze mid-sentence when his mind caught up with her words. He could see it in her eyes, that she’d said something she shouldn’t have. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Trust me, you don’t want to know,” she mumbled. 

“Are you sure about that? Last time I checked we couldn’t be together because you were in love with someone else! Not because it would…” He couldn’t finish that thought, it was too horrible to contemplate. 

“What if it’s both?” she asked with a grimace. 

“What do you mean?”

“Do you want me to spell it out for you? I would have fallen in love with you, hell, I was halfway there, if I hadn’t seen what would happen. Are you happy now?”

He looked at her stunned. He hadn’t been prepared for that. He hadn’t been prepared for anything, but most of all for her telling him she basically loved him with and without the mask. He wanted to know what she meant but was also terrified to hear it. 

“I’m sorry,” she said, clearly regretting her outburst. “This is not your fault. It’s just too much, do you see?”

“Some of it is clearly my fault.”

“No! I want to unsee that future, yes. But it won’t happen anyway, so it doesn’t matter.”

“It does if it makes you feel so bad.” She had no answer to that.

“I still love you, you know,” he whispered, drawing her startled gaze back to him. “It doesn’t help matters, obviously, but you should know it.” It was his turn to look away. She was right, it was too much. And all of it bad. 

“Detransform,” she said suddenly, making him jump a little.

“What?”

“Do it.”

“How is that going to help?”

“Isn’t this what you wanted all along?”

“Yes, but not like that! And now I know it will only complicate things more,” he said, regret clear in his voice. 

“You obviously know something I don’t,” she said, eyeing him suspiciously. “Of course you do. Do you see how crazy this is? If you already know, I should know too. And I’m sick and tired of hiding and pretending. Let’s get this over with and try to salvage as much as we can before it gets worse. I can’t stand fighting with you on top of everything else.” She looked so determined and so sad all at the same time. She was right. They shouldn’t be fighting.

“Ok, ok. Maybe you’re right. Tikki, spots off,” he muttered, closing his eyes. Her gasp made him look at her reluctantly.” 

“You see? It doesn’t make things better.”

“Oh God. This is why you sounded like you had more to say about Lila and Kagami,” she said.

“Yes. Hear me out. I’m not a friend of Lila. I’m acting like one because I don’t want to antagonise her further and because my father wants this for some reason. But I know what she’s like, just like you do. I know we can't win against her unless we reveal ourselves to everyone and this is not an option. So we’d have to use some subterfuge. But we won’t leave things to continue like this, I promise.” He was surprised to see her smiling a little at his speech.

“You’re wrong, you see. Things are better this way.” He had to give her that.

“As for Kagami… I think I made myself clear about who I love,” he said. Her cheeks turned a darker shade of pink at this. He wanted to touch her, but knew he shouldn’t. He’d already removed his arms from around her because it hadn’t felt right after what she’d said.

“It doesn’t change a thing though. If what you said is true.” He said, resigned. She looked to be deep in thought. 

“What if…” She started but paused, obviously unsure.

“What?”

“Look how bad it was. How close I was to… “ she stopped, shuddering. There hadn’t been a butterfly, which was a real miracle, but she was right, she’d been close. “What if while we’re trying to avoid one bad future from happening, we cause another?” He looked at her confused. “Knowing that I love you doesn’t make you feel better if we can’t be together, right?” Her blush was back but she looked proud that she’d said it. 

“You’re right. If possible, it’s worse than before. It’s just not fair,” he admitted. 

“That’s how I feel too. And it will only get worse if we keep trying to fight it, I think.”

“What should we do then?”

“Just do what we want to do and hope for the best?” She said with a small laugh. 

“You mean…?” He didn’t dare say it. He didn’t dare believe it as well.

“Yes, I mean exactly that.” And she kissed him. Just like that. She’d already been close enough to do it. He was surprised but when she tried to pull back, he didn’t let her, holding her head close. He could feel her smile against his lips before she kissed him back. 

“Better?” He asked when they were forced to separate in order to breathe. 

“A little. I’ll need more I think,” she said, a smile on her lips. He smiled in return.

“So, what does this mean?” he said.

“So, like I said, we should try a different approach. Maybe we have a better chance together. If we’re careful. If we help each other. If we give each other strength.”

“It sounds reasonable,” he agreed.

“Finally.” They both jumped a little at Plagg’s voice.

“Plagg!” Tikki scolded him.

“Well, I told you the same thing not so long ago.”

“I didn’t expect it would get so bad,” Tikki said, looking sad. “I’m sorry, Marinette.”

“It’s ok, Tikki.” She said then raised an eyebrow, waiting for him.

“She’s right, Tikki. You did what you had to do. I know keeping our identities a secret is important.”

“But if the price is too high, it’s no use,” Marinette finished for him. 

“And obviously you need to be together, in looove,” Plagg sang, twirling in the air. They both laughed, while Tikki shook her head at his antics. 

“We really can do this, right?” Marinette asked, some uncertainty still in her voice.

“You can,” the two kwamis agreed.

“We can,” Adrien added and hugged her tight. This was enough for now. 


End file.
